RUMBLINGS Of An Old Fart for today 03/02/2014….Top 10: Things You Should Never Tell A Woman
You’re past the early stages of your relationship and the two of you are getting pretty close. You are probably thinking that it’s time to open up and share all those intimate details of your past and present. Well, stop right there.
Up until now, you’ve probably been told that honesty is the best policy in a relationship — and most of the time it is. However, there are certain things about you, your family and your personal history that you don’t need to share with your woman — ever.
Now, I’m certainly not advocating lying, but rather selectively omitting some information that might not work in your favor. The following are 10 things that you should definitely not tell your girlfriend, even if she asks. In fact, mentioning any of the following would probably have her say, “I wish you hadn’t told me that.“
Your family hates her. This is an unfortunate situation, yes. But if you tell her, you’ll only fuel the fire by making her angry or insecure. If you don’t agree with your family’s hesitations about her, then politely ask them to butt out. Just do what you can to make them change their minds and hope they’ll warm up to her with time.
You have insecurities. Do you feel jealous of your best friend’s looks or his sweet new car? Or do you envy your girlfriend’s status, job or salary? Everyone has their share of insecurities, but in the dating world, it’s vital that you keep these insecurities under your hat. One of the most important things a woman looks in a man is confidence, and if she sees that you are constantly insecure and jealous, you won’t seem so poised. So if you can’t put a stop to your insecurities and your green-eyed monster, at least try to keep it to yourself.
You flirt with other women. If you are a flirty type of guy, she probably knows it already. In fact, you probably flirted with her before you got together. Having said that, she doesn’t need to hear the list of women that you flirted with all day, nor does she need to hear about the list of women that flirted with you. If it really is harmless flirting, then why make her worry about it?
If you’re afraid of spiders or think your ex was way better than her in bed, for God’s sake, keep it to yourself…
You have wimpy behavior. Okay, so you don’t kill spiders, you run away from fights and maybe you even cry during movies. Unfortunately for you, the clich is true: Women like strong men. So telling her that you’re afraid of an itty-bitty insect or that you can’t stand heights isn’t going to work in your favor. Naturally, if you are going to be with her in the long term, she might learn some of these little factoids as you go along. But do your best not to divulge them all in the beginning.
You compare her to your ex-girlfriend in bed. Needless to say, everyone does this; she is probably also comparing you to her ex to some extent. But do avoid offering her specific details about your past conquests, specifically the fact that your past lover was better than her in bed. In fact, even if you are telling her that she is better than your ex, this is a bad can of worms to open. No woman wants to be compared to another, especially in the sexual department.
You talk to your mother too often. Do you talk to mom several times a day? To a woman you’re dating, that could be a little intimidating. A woman doesn’t want to feel like she’s competing with your mother, or worse, that you’re dependent on mommy. So just keep that cute little secret to yourself.
You have not-so-cool hobbies. So you might keep a collection of Transformers in your underwear drawer or be fascinated by things like Faberge eggs. But you have to realize that it is unlikely that she will appreciate your wacky interests and hobbies. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that such quirks
You don’t like her girlfriends. What’s the only thing worse than having the hots for her girlfriends? You guessed it: talking badly about her girlfriends in front of her. Or even divulging that you think her friends are anything but sweet and fabulous people. Most of her girlfriends have been in her life longer than you have, so talking negatively about them probably won’t work out too well for you. If she doesn’t end things with you entirely, she’s sure to at least become defensive and angry about this — so if you absolutely need to trash her girlfriends, just make sure she’s not within earshot.
You’ve done shameful things in the past. You might think that the two of you are close enough for you to reveal these little tidbits. But unfortunately, she’ll never be ready to hear that you’ve cheated on past girlfriends or that you’ve enjoyed private dances at strip clubs. Even non-sexual shameful acts that you’ve committed — like theft, bullying or betrayals — are not things that you want to divulge. While you might want to get some of these secrets off your chest, she will never forget them. And you’ll come off looking like a less moral or honest person as a result.
You find one of her friends smoking hot. So you think that blonde friend of hers is cute? Fair enough. But do have the sense not to mention it to your girlfriend — not even as a joke. She won’t find it funny; actually, she will probably be angry and hurt, and in the long run, she’ll never trust you around her friends. You might think that your girlfriend is secure enough to handle this piece of information, but let me tell you that she’s not. Most girls aren’t, so don’t risk it.
Don’t say more than you have to
Do be open and honest with her about most things — by now, she should know most of the details of your personal life. Facts about your health and personal life that affect her are important to divulge. But consider this: Her opinion of you isn’t completely formed yet.
So when it comes to these 10 seemingly unimportant tidbits, be selective about what you tell her. Just as you are living the good life not knowing all those little secrets she’s been keeping from you, she’ll be happier not knowing the about ghosts in your closet.