Jewish Snakes and Kosher Sharks

Gilad Atzmon — July 18, 2013

The Jewish Chronicle reported yesterday that an Israeli man was rushed to hospital after a snake bit his penis during a visit to the toilet.

The 35-year-old received medical treatment after feeling “a sharp burning sensation” on his penis last Friday.

The man was sitting on the toilet at his family’s home in Nofit, northern Israel. But then Oy vey, completely out the blue,  a small snake came out of the toilet through the pipe and latched onto the end of his penis.

Sources within the Israeli Chief Rabbi office leaked today that the snake was part of a new Talmudic program to counter the apparent influx in numbers of non-circumcised penises in Israel. A unit of kosher snakes has been deployed in the Israeli sewage, they apparently visit toilets and hit the Goyim where it really hurts.

Following the success of the snake unit, the Chief Rabbi, Willy Short, launched an experimental  shark program in the Red Sea. A unit of 12 sharks is now undergoing intensive training. Within six month they are due to perform unsolicited in-water circumcisions.

Israel is famous around the world for it use of technology, however, the current usage of snakes and sharks is there to prove that the Jews are far from being detached from nature as some Anti Semites often suggest!

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4 thoughts on “Jewish Snakes and Kosher Sharks

  1. Jewish Joke 😀

    LIVE TO BE 80 ??

    Hyman recently had a full medical check up. When he returned 3 weeks later after the exhaustive lab tests were complete, his doctor said he was doing “fairly well” for his age.
    Hyman was obviously a little concerned about that comment and so asked his doctor “Do you think I’ll live to be 80, doctor?”
    He replied, “Well, do you smoke or drink beer?”
    “Oh no”, Hyman replied, “I’ve never done either.”
    Then the doctor asked, “Do you eat grilled steaks or barbequed ribs?”
    Hyman replied, “No, I’ve heard that red meat is very unhealthy.”
    “Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf?” asked the doctor.
    “No I don’t,” Hyman replied.
    Then the doctor asked, “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or mess with women?”
    “No,” said Hyman, “I’ve done none of those things.”
    The doctor looked at Hyman and said, “Then why do you want to live to be 80?”

    SHALOM 😀

  2. Reblogged this on Beverly's Chrestomathy and commented:
    Being a crone on my own, I really don’t enjoy old farts except from a distance with a good stiff breeze. Australia works for distance. I really love the old farts from down there. I met this guy online. I thank my father who art in heaven whose name is not hallowed. There are none needed. It’s Hello Ed! Blasphemy? Yeah, I remember you said that about my brother before you nailed him.

    • For an gifted and obviously undiscovered writer like you Beverly, I must admit that even I, the Old Fart dumb Shmuck and innocent anti ZIONIST, honest & good clean Jew, I CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOUR RUMBLINGS..Never been to US, Maine, Heaven or Hell yet…Been busy living ;)….Hope I will stay the same always, since neither of them interest me any way, lately not even Jerusalem 😀 ..Thank god 4 it..Who needs to be in an carpark rubble and die in burning fires after the ZIONISTS build the 3th temple and the king of Gog of the Magog empire will strike soon ??..LOL
      But we all know, ( Some at least ), that nothing can change the destiny of the WHORES OF BABILON…..Look for the seasons of the blooded moon soon 😉
      As for me lately, …Spiritually, I AM DEAF…I will perfect my attitude one day, when the REAL MESSIAH or the great teacher/council, YES, the MAN of GOD ( Joshua ) not GOD of MAN ( Antichrist ), will arrive in the next 5 or 6 years hopefully , unless the SERPENTS BREEDING IN SEWERS decide to blow humanity to dust before that 😀

      Shalom 😉

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