Visible Origami ” On Betrayals and the Inexplicable “
– March 4, 2013
Dog Poet Transmitting…….(((((((((())))))))))))
May your noses always be cold and wet.
Jesus Christ! I wish we could start talking about something else. Now I understand from a comment at Petri Dish that I am supposed to have said that I am one of the seven avatars, the final one and that I came to Earth to save mankind. I flat out never said this. Wouldn’t I have said it before to someone else if that were the case? Whenever I say things like that, which is rare, I will mention that it could be that I am a Bodhisattva because I have been told that. I should have read that blog posting but I did not because, my recollection of it all was that nothing happened and neither I, nor anyone else around could figure out why he just up and split for no reason. It was out of the blue. Meanwhile, I was only drinking about six beers a day, which doesn’t change me much at all. Maybe there’s some kind of an effort to get me off of the internet, to discourage me to the point that I don’t want to do this anymore. In any case, it’s working because I am pretty close to just hanging all of this up. It isn’t worth the shit I go through and doing it all for free in the first place so, if I just disappear you will know why.
I am now finally finishing that novel and it will be out in March. After that I will consider what is best for me. It’s been getting a little wearisome anyway, working all day for nothing but what dribbles in occasionally from the collection box. This, in part, connects to the dissolution of my marriage. The cost has not been small. I am paying through a nose that is no longer cold and wet. As I have mentioned already, several astrologers warned me about betrayals and hidden enemies. Typically, I paid no great attention to it. I should have. Usually when I get warned about something there is usually a good reason but I go blithely along, as if nothing can really touch me. I really ought to pay more attention but none of it seemed relevant to me.
The fact that he would just go and make a blog post in the first place, without saying anything to me beforehand is inexplicable and really bad form, no matter what the excuse may be. There is no excuse for that kind of thing. It is the penultimate expression of petulant childishness and no real man, or anyone who calls themselves a friend of mine would behave in such a fashion. I know he took the blog down out of embarrassment, when it dawned on him what he had done. I took him into my home there at my expense. I bought him bedding and food and all else. Friends of mine gave him money to enhance his trip and he repays me like this? It’s odious and contemptible and I’ll say no more about it. Then he went to the fellow that gave him a considerable amount and said, “You got your moneys worth. What could that possibly mean? If I should lose some readers over this then so be it. I have served as best I could but apparently my service comes to nothing in the end. Well, I got next to nothing for it. I gave my books away to all who could not afford them. I give my music away for free, though no doubt there are some who feel it isn’t worth that much to begin with. Well, I’m not going to cry in my tea about it. There’s nothing I can do but trust that the majority of the readers trust me. This is some kind of test, obviously and I will do my best to meet it at the marrow.
When things like this happen, there is always a good reason and it usually has something to do with the wheat and chaff. I doubt anyone who has my back will believe I said such a thing and how, if there are seven avatars would someone come to the conclusion that I was the last one if there were six others around in the first place? The lie is embedded in the statement in the first place. and surely I would have made this comment before to someone else and no one can say that I did. So… I’m going to let this slide, hoping there will be a general accord on this. There are always going to be bumps in the highway and we have to keep our minds on the highway and not the bumps that are already behind us.
I can hear my mind telling me, it’s for the purpose of demonstration and I realize the best thing is just to laugh about it and chalk it up to temporary insanity and experience.
Now, the usual anonymous is coming around trying to get my goat. Luckily I don’t own a goat and ‘women scorned’ like Katz are coming around making outrageous claims that she will not, because she cannot, back them up. It’s like Fox News headlines, where the story bears no resemblance to the headline.. I suppose this is all to get a rise out of me but I am impotent in that regard (grin).
Drunken Gopals are calling me up in the night because I didn’t do enough for him while I was there, even though I tipped him outrageously and left him everything I had when I went. I’ll have to put India up there on the clusterfuck list. Truly, I wouldn’t even have been drinking the beer, except that I would have gotten no sleep as a result. The power of that mountain is something else and when I wasn’t having a beer in the early days, I started waking up and crying out, “Oh my God” and had to leave my first apartment as a result. After that there were no more events of that nature and I attribute that to the beer grounding me.
My new Goldtouch keyboard arrived today (thank God) the old one was always sticking and causing me continuous problems. Now, at least that is over.
I don’t really know what else to say to the reader. You’ll take all of this in whatever way it sorts out for you, based on what you know about me over the years and I wish you well, no matter what conclusions you arrive at in the end. It’s what it ‘was’ in any case.
Spring officially arrived today. This is the warmest part of the country where I live and one year, Spring came on February 14th. Today it is near 60 degrees with a brilliant sun shining down and melting the snow. Spring, of course, is a time of new beginnings. Let us hope that applies in every sense of the word. One of the things I have always found mystifying about people in general is their inability to let things go and subsequently most people carry a lot of baggage. I prefer to travel light (grin). Well, I’ve been beating this dead horse for over 20 minutes now and it refuses to get up so… let’s see what else we can get into now before this posting reaches its destination.
I should have done that radio show last night but just as I was set up to record, Susanne came in and wanted to watch a movie. By that time it was very late and I was very tired. I will do that show today and it should be up at whatever point James is in a position to make it happen. When you first get back from any journey of any length there is always so much to do. You have to just take each necessity up one after the other, until you reach the end and come into some reasonable facsimile of present time. I’m nearly there and finally, at last, I am finishing the novel, doing at least four pages of transcribing a day, so it will be ready to go in mid-March. It’s taken years to get to this point but it is finally happening. I’m working on buying back the old Visible-mobile and soon I will be behind the wheel of it again; ‘same as it ever was’. In 3 months I will be in some location, as yet unknown …but probably around here, if your reasonably practical invitations come in and if nothing else happens.
However this all turns out it is my pleasure to have been of service for the years in which it occurred.
Radio show coming next